Okay so you’ve made it past my blathering on and on about why this and why that. Here is where I need to start and confess a few things.
That is a bad starting point but I guess it could be worse. Unfortunately when I got up that is what the scale said and I was surprised that it didn’t scream bloody murder when I stepped on it this morning.
So let me talk about what I didn’t get in the morning and that was a good night’s sleep. I think I maxed out at about 5 1/2 hours of sleep. I know that I should get 7-8 hours of sleep but that seldom happens. Besides that I was having a difficult time last night shutting down my brain and finding a comfortable position to sleep.
You may ask why, well one of the ladies at work who had just gone to the doctor on last Monday and told she would be booked into the hospital come Sunday (today) so they could induce labor and she would give birth to her daughter, went to the hospital on Thursday feeling sick. Unfortunately the baby died and she had to give birth to a still-born daughter so I’ve been having a very hard time trying to wrap my head around that and how bad she must be feeling. Then I get to work and find out that no one bothered to tell me about what they were doing for the family and then they just volunteered me to do something that I would have never volunteered for in the first place. I’ve got to get my head on straight.
I didn’t want to sleep in too late because I was also afraid that I would wake up and my 17 year old dog would be dead, but she was okay this morning and barking. That will not be the case tomorrow though, I will be taking her to the vet so she can be put to sleep so I don’t think I will be sleeping very well tonight either. So I guess you can say that I’m starting out bad already because of my lack of sleep, but let’s see what else I did today.
Breakfast is normally a cup of coffee and 2 strips of bacon but today I made 2 eggs scrambled, 2 pieces of toast, 2 pieces of bacon and a small serving of hash brown casserole, a small glass of OJ and a cup of coffee. I was stupid and ate all of the toast and the casserole as well as drank the OJ and coffee. Didn’t finish the eggs and dropped the bacon which I gave to my dog, hey can’t let it go to waste.
Then I cleaned up the mess my dog left and had to spoon feed her with her only eating a little bit of the food. I did it for her sister who passed away in 2011 so I can do it for her now that she has reached that stage.
The best part of the day was my going for a walk at the local high school running track. I managed to make my mile walk and was feeling good but as I finished my walk a man and a woman came onto the track and the guy would not stop talking. Oh my god I wanted to strangle the man because my wonderful feeling was running away from the track faster than I could run and it left me behind. I’ll have to remember that this guy walks at about 1100 hours so I will definitely have to get there sooner so I can be done and away from the place before he ever appears at the track again. So good but still a stressful situation.
Came back straightened hair but learned that my mother had to clean up a mess my dog left when she came in to drink her water. I fed her a little bit more and then left for work.
At work I learn that I was once again left behind on planning or any information about what is going on and it is finally making me realize that this job and this station is not a good choice for me. Time for me to consider moving on. So while at work I get a lady who comes in and looks down her nose at me and when I have to ask her questions so I will know how to respond she acts indignant and tells me that I’m rude and vowed to complain about me. Oh yeah this day just keeps on getting better and better. Another co-worker calls asking for updates about the mother with the still-born child and he reveals so much information that I really know for sure that I’m the third wheel at work and that it is most definitely time to be looking elsewhere for something else to do.
So my day has been pretty crappy in general and I really don’t expect tomorrow to be a much better day but all I can do is try to get some sleep tonight and hope that it will help me make it through tomorrow when I have to put my dog to sleep. But until then I am resisting the temptation to have ice cream and so far I’ve calmed down enough so I don’t feel as if I need an alcoholic drink although it really would be nice about now but there is most definitely no drinking on the job.
Oh yeah, I need to list my foods. I’m trying to stay under 100 grams of carbohydrates per day but I really don’t think I made it today. But let me check on things and see.
Breakfast: 2 eggs w/shredded cheese , 2 strips bacon, hash brown casserole, OJ, coffee w/cream, 2 pieces of toast, grape jelly with about 82 grams of carbohydrates
Lunch: half a bacon cheese sandwich – 10 grams of carbs
Dinner: Chicken fried chicken portion w/gravy, shells w/cheese, green beans with mushrooms – 60 grams of carbs
So let me count…I consumed about 152 grams of carbs today which puts me in the insidious weight gain category.
GOOD: I walked for 1.25 miles
BAD: Ate too many carbs for breakfast, lunch and dinner… 152
Only about 5 1/2 hours of sleep
Stressed out at work and can’t seem to let it go
Well alrighty then, what I have I done today…nothing but bad and chased away all of my good intentions. But since good intentions doesn’t pave the way to good, guess I will have to focus on what I do tomorrow. Still debating about having a drink tonight after I get off of work.
I was just reading again on Mark’s Daily Apple about some of the things that we need to remember to do as an adult and one of them is laugh loud but today was not a good day for that. Maybe soon one of these days I can laugh but today and tonight is not the time for that. Something I need to work on in the future.