Okay so this is one of the suckiest days of this year so far, and this month is the worse I’ve had in a very long time.
Let’s see why things are biting for me. Last week a co-worker had a still-born baby and that the people at work are doing a lot of things to help the family. Yet despite my being told about the still-born child I got left out of the loop of what they were doing for the family and then I got volunteered to make something for them which shocked the shit out of me and actually I’m quite upset for being left out of the loop and for being volunteered for something. Okay that is the last time I’m venting about that…I promise.
Next bit of sucky information is the fact that today I had to put my 17 year old dog to sleep and that is never a good thing. Thanks to those of you who sent kind words because it really did help.
So just as I’m preparing to take my dog out to my truck for the final ride and final vet visit, my brother calls my mother and tells her that his mother-in-law (our family has met her and really love her) has been told that cancer has returned to her lungs and that she is in great pain especially since she was also diagnosed with bronchitis. Then my brother dropped the hammer and told us that his mother-in-law was informed by her doctor today that she has 2-4 weeks to live. Then I had planned on visiting her this weekend but then it turns out that I have an acupuncture appointment as well as a hair appointment so I will have to pass on the visit. If things turn out right then next week I will go visit her before it is too late.
This month really sucks!
Okay so let me get back on track and let’s see how I’ve done today. I did not step up on the scale because they say that you shouldn’t weigh yourself every day and besides that it really wacks me out mentally. So I guess I’ll at least wait a couple of days.
I looked at the carb count and realized something, I need the flavored creamer because despite my trying thick cream in my coffee, it gives me massive amounts of gas, so I’m back on the higher carb count of flavored creamers. Maybe I’ll also go back to the half/half, less gas.
Breakfast: 1 cup of coffee w/3 creamers and 2 slices of bacon… – 15 grams of carbs.
Lunch: Hash Brown Casserole small piece, Grilled Cheese Sandwich, 2 eggs scrambled… -41 grams of carbs
Dinner: Hamburger patty w/slice of cheese, green beans … – 12 grams of carbs
Snack: 1/2 cup of Blue Bell’s Red Velvet cake ice cream… -24 grams of carbs
I really, really loved the ice cream and wanted more, much more but I put it back in the freezer. It was one of the hardest things that I’ve had to do in the way of eating. Seeing what a crappy day I’ve had, the temptation to eat the whole container of ice cream is there but each time I’ve had it, I limit myself to 1/2 cup of ice cream. Guess I’m trying to make it last longer but don’t know if I can keep it up…the resisting one of my favorite ice creams.
It is on days like this that I wished that I still lived back in Colorado Springs and wish it was spring time. I want to just go walking on some trail and loose myself from the rest of the world for a couple of hours and just let go of the sadness, but since I’m not there and someone has to work, even on holidays, I’m at work and doing a fair job of keeping things together. Boy do I want a drink and I mean an alcoholic drink!
Okay the day is not over yet but so far I’ve had one crazy woman come up and try to convince me that her landlord has put pyrotechnic powder all over her apartment and that she can’t go home because she spilled some gasoline while trying to put gas in her vehicle and he some how manipulated the gas nozzle to spill the gas and so the vapors from the gas would get on her clothes and she would burn up when she went home. Never mind the fact that there was not but a teaspoon or so that spilled onto the concrete but all of the vapors got on her clothes. This is the fourth time she has come in complaining that she is covered with vapors or has something made some kind of complaint about vapors in her home, her car, her clothes and in public places.
If it wasn’t for the fact that this woman needs help it would really be funny. There are too many people like her running around who obviously need help. Okay so it is a little bit funny but at least I didn’t laugh at her but the circumstances were a little bit funny.
I’ve had an interesting day and still debating whether or not I will walk after work or not. Got to think about it…it could be a good stress reliever because I definitely have stress today. I wish I could figure out what I want to do but right now I’m still stuck at work until 11 pm so lots of time to determine what I want to do. If I decide to exercise I’ll write about it but for now let me see what I’ve done good and what I’ve done bad.
GOOD: Kept carb count for the day under 100 grams which puts me in the Primal Sweet Spot for Effortless Weight Loss So yeah for that. Here is another good point. Last night as I tried to go to sleep I had less pain and numbness in my hand so perhaps that means that my acupuncture is working to relieve my carpal tunnel syndrome or at least helping.
BAD: Under a lot of stress. The above mentioned loss of friend’s child, putting my dog to sleep and my brother’s mother-in-law learning about her shortened life expectations. Also bad is my lack of sleep, once again I’m only getting 5 1/2 to 5 3/4 hours of sleep and that does not help with the stress. I’ve got to do better.