Day 4

Well I thought today would be a relatively easy day, well that went to hell in a hand basket real quick.  So I get up and everything seems to be okay, I take my mother grocery shopping and mostly everything goes okay but that was after the poop hit the fan the first time.

I had ordered a plane ticket for my mother so she could fly out and see our friend who is dying of lung cancer, she even said it was okay to buy the plane ticket yesterday.  So I thought I bought her one but it turns out that the sale did not complete and so I called the airlines asking about it and was told that the sale did not go through and that I would need to go back on line and re-order the ticket.  Well my mother said to never mind she would take the bus, so no problem…right?  NO!

After 0230 hours I received a text message from the airlines giving me the plane ticket information as well as the itinerary so it turns out that the sale went through but it took this long to register.  So I finally went to bed shortly after that and decided that I could wait to tell my mother about the ticket going through, she needed to stay asleep.

So when I remembered to mention it while we were grocery shopping she got very upset stating that she didn’t want to fly and she hates to fly.  She has problems with her ears not popping and now she doesn’t want anyone to see that she is too weak to put her carry-on bag in the overhead bin.  So I have to cancel the ticket only they tell me that since the ticket was in my mother’s name only she could use it although I bought the ticket.  So I sent a message to customer relations on the airlines and they will get back to me with more details.  Things aren’t looking too good and it looks like I spent $140 for nothing because unless they let me pay $11 more dollars and turn it into a voucher under my name since I paid for the ticket then that will be wasted money.  My mother was adamant about not flying any more, so it looks like my day is just getting crappier.

As I’m trying to wolf down my baked potato lunch I started getting text messages from EDQ (my work partner) still fishing around trying to find out what is wrong and how she is under soooo much stress from her friend and the still-born baby.  I still am trying to keep it quiet as to what is going on with me although she unfortunately knows about me putting my dog to sleep.  It might have been okay at 1 text but EDQ keeps on texting me and sends me 3 more texts saying she is under so much stress.

I thanked her but told her to stop because I have other private things and I prefer to deal with them on my own and not have them broadcast to the station.  Of course EDQ took offense but I stepped down and didn’t write back.  I get to work and one of my co-workers is asking worker if they can give something so I said I would try to bake a cake.

Less than an hour later EDQ is texting me at least 5 messages saying that I could have called if I wanted to find out what was going on, I wanted to yell at her that I asked her if she would call me and let me know because I didn’t want to ever interrupt any of her time with the family and said that last Friday.  Then she keeps on saying she didn’t appreciate what I said about it being broadcast.  Well I wanted to yell at her again that here is the proof.  I only told 2 people at work about having to put my dog down and one of them was EDQ and guess what the whole station now knows and my captain came up and extended her sympathies but I was an ass and was freaking out and sort of snapped.  I apologized and thanked her for her sentiments and later sent her an email again apologizing for my behavior.  Doesn’t pay to piss off a captain.

So if the Captain knows about me putting my dog to sleep and the other person I told hasn’t been to work since I told her, then guess who…yep…Ms EDQ told everyone else my business.  I’m busy trying to do my work and she is still texting me. I finish what I was doing and tell her I appreciated her concern but asked her to stop and let me handle things my own way.  Well of course that offended her and someone working around me saw me start to lose it.  I accidentally slipped about the one of the other tragedies happening to me and suddenly realize my mistake.  She is the one who texted the EDQ that I was going to bring a cake so I quickly told her that I did not want anyone else to know what has happened to me and what is going on and asked her not to reveal my secret.  She saw how upset I was and said she would keep my secret, I can only hope.  Then she kept hearing my phone chime and asked if that was EDQ and I said yes and she apologized saying she knows it is rough and she would distract EDQ which she did and it let me get my work done.

Now I had figured that today would be a relatively stress free day at work but boy oh boy was I wrong.  I’ll be surprised if I don’t have at least 5 more pimples or blemishes pop up on my face.  I’ve got to learn how to do quick meditations to relax me because I can’t keep on grabbing a drink every night after work.

Well I’ve been pushing the envelope when it comes to eating today so let me get right down to it.


BREAKFAST:  1 cup coffee w/creamers, 2 strips of bacon, 1 square of milk chocolate   – 13g

LUNCH:  1 medium size baked potatoe w/cheese/hot dog chili/ranch dressing    – 53g

DINNER:  1 – serving of pot roast, mashed potatoes, green beans   – 25g

Well in looking at it, I’m damn close to 100 but thankfully not over.  So although my count is at 90 grams, I really don’t want to push my luck.

I’m so tired of being stressed out and it would be okay if it involved work but when someone at work is bring way too much of their private to work….well it pushes me to the limit.  Saddest thing of all is that one of the guys here at work looked at me and asked if I was getting enough sleep because he said I looked tired.  Funny thing is that I’ve been getting about 6 1/2 to 7 hours of sleep but because of all of the stress I’m looking exhausted and I can feel the stress even in my chest.  I might take tomorrow off and maybe give my head and heart time to relax.

Actually looking forward to seeing my relief tonight because he is going to talk to me about getting the door on my mother’s back outside door replaced and I will show him pictures to see if what he suggested will work.  Here’s hoping!

Oh yeah, I guess I need to confess something and no I’m not talking about anything religious.  I decided that I was going to get on the scale even after I had breakfast and much to my surprise it read 207.1 pounds and so that means that I lost 2 pounds.  Pretty cool if you ask me.


GOOD: Keeping my carb count under 100.  So far a 2 pound weight loss.  Good sleep but obviously not enough sleep.


BAD:  STRESS!!!!!!!!  And More STRESS!!!!!!  Also bad is my letting this bother me too much.  Still need to focus on mini meditation sessions.  If I could handle the stress then maybe soon I could stop having what I did that was bad.

Still a work in progress


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