March Madness

No I’m not talking about basketball or brackets, sorry to get your hopes up but I just don’t understand that very well, I mean the brackets and not really interested in them…sorry for those who are into that stuff.  Instead I’m talking about my own March madness.

I have just erased what came out to 2 1/2 pages of wild ranting, mostly about my brothers and their lack of confidence in me.  Wow, I guess that just sums it all up, they don’t have confidence in me.  One of them was trying to lecture me about dieting and tell me some of the pitfalls of being overweight and then he dared to ask me the question, “Well have you ever tried dieting?”

Wow, it is hard when I diet because I let my mother know so that she will know when I’m there that I can’t eat certain foods and so she won’t grocery shop for me when I take her grocery shopping.  Any way, she always tells my brothers all of my business so she is a gossip mouse.  So that is why I got upset about my brother asking me if I’ve ever tried dieting.

Well since having dropped my mother off at my brother’s house so she and my sister-in-law could travel out of country, that was when my brother asked me about dieting, which just happened to have been the first weekend in March.  Thus starting out my March madness which is actually just frustration at my brother for his comment.

So now that I haven’t had to worry about taking care of my mother I’ve been able to actually regulate what and how I’ve been eating.  I’ve learned a few things about myself which is that I’m hooked on cappuccinos which I know is not the best thing to be hooked on but I only drink 2 a day at the maximum.

The week was going fine when suddenly while driving home from the bad side of town my truck breaks down, only it was very dangerous where it broke down so I managed to coax it along to stop about a mile away in a little bit safer area.  So now a week later I get a call from the garage saying my truck is ready and I almost passed out at the +$600 repair bill, but I guess it is better than a new car payment every week for the next 4-5 years.

So another brother lets me borrow his truck and mentions I might want to remove the messed up window tinting.  Well that is what I’ve been doing for the last few days and my fingers are slightly number from holding the razor blade at the correct angle to remove the glue still stuck on the windows once the tint was removed.  I only have the back window to go.  But, I managed to control my actions and besides removing the window tinting for the last few days, I’ve been careful about what I eat.

 

So now here is some good news.  I was relatively primal eating last week and I lost 4 .6 pounds.  Now unfortunately it is not still that way, I lost a touch more the next day but gained a couple of pounds in the last couple of days.  Some of the stress is coming back to bite me.  Plus I’ve been hungry and ate late at night although in general I’ve been eating primal.

Despite the stress with the truck, replaying my brother’s insulting questioning about my weight and dieting and trying to get other things done around the house; I’m now actually feeling pretty good about myself.  Yeah I have a big repair bill to pay tomorrow but I will have my truck back.  Yes I haven’t been eating completely primal, but I’m losing some weight, not as much as I would like but I know why it has not been melting off of me.  Oh yeah and I’m feeling good because I broke down and spent $$$ bucks on a coffee grinder to try and improve my espresso pulls on my cheap machine, then I find out something else I can do to improve it even better so I can enjoy the taste of my new coffee beans.  (Hey I have to look for the little rainbows for now.)

So as I finish up work tonight, I will go home and clean up my mess I left before rushing off to work and rig up my espresso machine for a good pull in the morning before I go pick up my truck.  I’ll catch the bus so then I will get just over 3/4 of a mile walk in early and hopefully it won’t rain on me as I walk to the garage to pick up my baby truck.

One last note is that I did something this last weekend that I think made a world of difference in my losing weight.  I went on a trike ride, but not an ordinary usual trike ride.  I’m making myself go to different places and to ride and push myself a little bit harder to get out and be in the world.  Okay so why is this last weekend’s ride so great, well I rode 65 miles on my trike.  If you remember I have a tricycle, pedal power and not horse power.  I took on some monster hills and climbed them on my trike and didn’t let them defeat me.

Yeah it took me longer to ride the 65 miles than I expected, it took me about 8 hours but the majority of those miles were uphill, yeah I got to ride down the hills but going up those hills were hard.  Yet despite it being a hard ride and by the time I finished the sun was down and my trike lights were fading as they ran out of power but as I rode up the last hill to where I had left my truck parked, I felt hungry and excited that I had managed to ride so far.  I also felt chilled because I didn’t bring my jacket, see I hadn’t planned on riding that far so it was great because I didn’t have to worry about anyone or anything (with the exception of traffic) while on my ride and so far that is the best trike ride I’ve ever had.

So I’ve slipped a little this week already but now I think I’ve released my frustration (erased pages of ranting) and I’m looking forward to the coming weekend and maybe I can get a trike ride in and if not there is always the next weekend.  I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow to replenish my primal pantry and continue eating primal.

Thanks for being patient with me and I’m back to eating good and maybe this time I will have a bit more success than earlier this year.  Hope you day is going okay.

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