Personal Bet

Okay I know that I’ve been away from blogging and my apologies for those who were wondering if I fell off the face of the Earth or what.  Nope, the laws of gravity are still working and I’m still here.

While I was on my own for two weeks, I was going primal and only had one day of where I kind of just relaxed.  So what did I get for it, a .5 pound weight gain and an upset stomach.  Then things changed and I ended up falling off the primal train.  At least I can tell that there is a change in things from my being on the diet and not just the weight loss which was almost 7 pounds.  No I’m talking about a change in my attitude and how I felt.  I hadn’t noticed it times before probably because I was allowing other things to occupy the small space in my mind and it just grew out of proportion.  So I think I have that locked up into a smaller space and am tackling it a small bit at a time instead of letting it overwhelm me.

So as convention season rapidly approaches, I find that I’m still extremely fluffy, which is what my hair dresser says because she too is fluffy.  I like her saying that and no we are not fooling ourselves into thinking that we are in shape, we are fluffy and recognize we need a better shape.  Realizing what time of year it is, I’m beginning to wonder if I can even lose enough weight to make a difference for anyone to see.

Why is it important for others to see any weight that I lose, well it is because I like to see that I’m not the only one who notices.  So maybe soon I will stop wearing the baggy long hanging tee shirts so people will see my progress.

Oh, didn’t I say this before….oops, sorry.  I’m going to be going primal again, yes once again I’m going to be focusing on what I eat and hopefully this time I will be more successful in sticking to better eating habits.

Everyone says that you need a goal, something to shoot for so I’ve set one for myself which I will reveal in just a few moments.  Ohhh, teaser!

One of the thing that has been bother me has been my finances, oh sure I have money to pay my bills but wouldn’t you know it, just as I find I have some money to spare an unexpected expense comes up.  One of those expenses is my truck which is 22 years old this month which means it has been a work horse.  Everyone keeps on telling me to get a new car but what they fail to see is that I’m not putting out a monthly car payment which is great and has allowed me to get a few things, maybe a few too many things but at least I’m just barely above living from paycheck to paycheck.  But I digress….   As I was saying, I had an unexpected expense concerning my truck and this was just after I spent money to buy new tires and was about to replace my shocks when blam… major problems with my truck.  My brakes suddenly failed and I heard a horrible noise that I couldn’t pinpoint.  A big repair bill later, my truck is okay but I still feel that it is not running correctly, maybe I will finally get my mechanic nephew to look at it for me.

So I still need some work done on my truck and I need to put my 21-year-old car into the shop just to get it to start.  It has been sitting for 3 years and so I have to have all of the fluids replaced, especially the manual transmission fluid.  They had replaced the slave valve on my manual transmission only didnt bleed it right and the air bubble in the line froze up my gears.  When that happened I didn’t have enough money to put it back in the shop, so it sat and just as I was going to put it into the shop for them to fix it so it can run, blam more problems with my truck.

This is what threw me off earlier while I was being primal and although it was stressful while I was by myself, still stressed because of time, I stayed true to being primal.  Now everything caught up with me and I hopped off being primal but have decided on a new start date and a new goal.

Another thing I was stressing about was that I wanted to buy a new espresso maker because I have a very cheap espresso maker, but at the time I wasn’t sure if this was something that I wanted to do.  So then I watched a lot of videos and did my best with what I had to work with, Mr. Coffee burr grinder and DeLonghi EC15 espresso maker.  Well I knew that my grinder wasn’t very good, especially since it only cost $25, so I moved up to a more expensive grinder, a Rocky grinder.  So I bought this and just after I bought the grinder was when my truck broke down. I watched more videos to try and see how I could improve on my espresso skills and it seems that I just can’t seem to get it right, no matter how I make adjustments.

Seeing that convention season is almost upon me, I need to start saving up my money for the conventions that I’m planning on attending.  So once again I will be putting off getting my Silvia espresso machine but there is a reason.  You know how everyone says that you should reward yourself when you reach your weight goals and it should not be a food reward…well I’m skimming the surface here.  If I reach my weight goal then I will reward myself after my usual convention season by buying my Silvia espresso machine with PID.  Oh and if you don’t know what that is, it a not cheap espresso machine so I can make my lattes and the PID is a device attached to the machine so that it will give me more consistency as I pull my shots of espresso.  I figure I could use all of the help I could get thus why the PID.

So what is my goal?  My goal will be to lose 30 pounds by Monday, August 31st.  Why then, well that is when I leave for my favorite mad time adventure…..DRAGONCON!!!!!

I did a count of the days and since I will be starting on Monday April 6th since the 5th is my mother’s birthday and Easter with candy, I know I will not make it and my will power will down the drain.  So I will begin being primal on Monday, which means that I will have 148 days to lose 30 pounds.

Wow, that’s a lot of days and you might think why don’t I try to lose more?  Well the truth of the matter is that I’ve never lost more than 15 pounds and that was during a 21 days of being primal a couple of years ago.  The hard part will be maintaining the weight loss but my big hope will be to lose even more.  So why only 30 pounds, well that will put me under 200 pounds.  No I’m not up to 230 but I want to be a bit below 200 pounds and I want to be able to see the loss on my body.  Would I like to lose more, heck yeah and I’m hoping that I can continue to lose even more weight.  I know what weight I would like to be but the odds are not so great for me being back to my weight when I first started working in my line of work, which was 125 pounds.

Although based on most weight charts that would make me still overweight and close to being considered obese…but there was very little fat on my body.  That was when I was jo-walking 5 miles a day and really there was virtually no fat, you could not even pinch an inch on my waistline it was that .  No six-pack abs but they were taut.

So my personal bet is if I lose 30 pounds by August 31st, then I will reward myself by buying my Rancilio Silvia w/PID after I get back from DragonCon.

Like I said, it is a lot of days to lose only 30 pounds but the trick will be keeping it off.  One of these days I’m going to don a costume for DragonCon and may even wear a couple.  But I’ve got a lot of work to do until that time and if I get close to the weight then I will have to make a costume.  That is an exciting thing to look forward to and in a way it is another goal I can have.

Will this be the year that makes a difference?  I certainly hope so because I’m tired of taking my BP meds and I’m tired of feeling uncomfortable in my clothes and with myself.  Time to make the body fit my hair.

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