Day 100

Okay so here I am at day 100 and I’m wondering what in the hell I have been doing for all of this time…oh wait, I know what I’ve been doing…eating poorly.

Yeah, I’ve got no one to blame but myself for not being on top of things and I know that I should have already achieved my goal by day 100 but I kept on falling backwards and finding one reason or another for me not to eat the correct way.

I had given myself 148 days to lose 30 pounds, a simple 30 pounds and thought, hey this will be easy, no problem.  Unfortunately I kept on putting things off and figuring that I could lose it without any problem but now I’m beginning to wonder if I’m stupid or lazy…wait, I’ve been both.

So I stepped on the scale this morning knowing that I would be in trouble today and I was right.  So far as of this morning I’ve lost a whole 3 pounds…three pounds, how disgusting.

Lately I’ve been realizing that I’ve been waiting too long to get serious about things, even when I had the 5 pound loss but what did I do, I did/ate whatever I wanted and let things slide.  Now that the rush is on I’ve been trying to contain my desire for sweets but keep on trying to find something that works.

I’m beginning to see that I’m about to get desperate and as I get desperate I’ve started doing some checking on the latest and greatest or at least the latest diet way to me.  I noticed something printed in the newspaper and decided why not look into it, maybe they would be offering some new way to lose weight other than the usual stuff which is calories in and calories out.

I was looking at it and went to the web site and was intrigued by the Nutrimost Fat Loss System and was listening to the testimonials and as typical, I was impressed by what most of them were saying.  So hell yes I was curious about what was happening and that was when the waters became very murky.  They continued with the song and dance talking about how great the system was and then they did something that got my attention, they said it doesn’t cost much compared to the cost of your health.  TRAP !!!!

Now they were talking about how they are giving you a discount and tell you to fill out a form and for $26 they can set you up for a consultation and that it normally costs $99.  But wait…there’s more!  Yes in deed when you go in for your consultation you will get a chance to put your hand on their special device which will measure things within your body based on the electrical stimulus that are sent through this device, it will measure the toxicity levels and all sorts of other things and then they will take that information and come up with a diet that is tailored for your weight loss, but they don’t call it a weight loss they call it a health improvement.  They then show a woman cooking a steak and having a couple of slices of tomato and how she takes some drops (I thought they said with no medication, guess taking drops doesn’t count as medicine) and it kills the appetite and in 30 days men can lose up to 40 pounds and in women they can lose up to 40 pounds in about 40 days and best of all you will keep it off.

Then I did some investigation of my own and learned that you have to buy all of these supplements before they tell you the results which basically comes down to eating 500-700 calories a day…calories in and calories out.  Many people are against this because the brain needs more than 500 calories to keep on function at high-capacity.  However, I will say there was something positive that I picked up from this diet system which was to drink alkaline water and that it would help detoxify my system and not leave me feeling quite as thirsty.

I did some research on the internet and learned from several reputable sites that drinking alkaline water can be healthy for your.  It can help flush some of the toxins out of the system but there are as always problems if you drink too much.  It appears that it can help some so I’m trying that to help settle my stomach but I’ve only just begun drinking it.  I’ve tried two different brands, one being chemically enhanced water and the other well sorry to disappoint, it too is artificially enhanced but I will say that the last one taste better.

So I’m going to drink it for a couple of days to try and get my body a little bit more balanced, if that is even possible, and then focus eating better…oh wait, I’m doing that for the last couple of days.

So this is going to be an interesting weekend, I’m hoping that I don’t have to rent a car to go out for my trike ride but if I can’t get my brother’s truck then I just might do that but then again I just might rent a vehicle anyway because I’m not sure if my other vehicle will be out of the shop.

I have a 94 Ford Escort and just had the slave valve replaced on my manual transmission about 3 years ago and started experiencing the same problem of the gears locking up and even when I pressed on the clutch…no let me correct that, when I stood on the clutch it still would not disengage the gear that the vehicle was in, which made it extremely difficult when I can to a stop light because I would have the clutch in, stomping on the brake pedal and then would have to pull the parking brake so I could slow my forward movement to 1 inch every 15 seconds.  Yeah, really a bad situation.  I called the shop and said I’m looking at over $200 in labor to look at the vehicle and seeing that I was still paying off a few loans and notes I had racked up while out of work, I didn’t have the money to spare.  So my Escort sat for 3 years and things started going bad, such as gas, battery died and I was already spending money on getting my 93 truck repaired.  Why the truck, because it was my baby truck and needed help.  Finally came across someone at work who said it sounded like an air bubble was stuck in the transmission fluid and as the engine got hotter, the bubble would go to the top and block any other fluid from flowing through the system.  I learned that too late.  My car had been sitting for just over 2 years so dead battery, bad gas and it needed more things done to it so it had to wait another year.

Escort is in shop getting fixed and I’m on pins and needles because so far the cost is around $1,000 for repair but that was a week ago when they said they were still testing my vehicle.  So why not get a new car or truck?    On my best dealings let’s say that I had a $300/month vehicle payment, that would mean that in 4 months I would have paid more than my repair bill but still would not own the vehicle for several years, 4 or 5 depending on how expensive of a car I wanted.  So my two babies will have to do for now.  My truck will need repair so that is why I can’t take it on long trips and I need it close by should it break down and driving over 300 miles away from home really puts me at risk.

So car worries aren’t helping me much but it is something to work through.  This is putting a little bit more stress on me and probably why I’ve still got a sweet tooth.

Oh, wait a minute, I made a chocolate cake in a mug following the Paleo guidelines but it tasted horrible.  It was dry even with whipped cream on it.  I decided to try another spoonful after lunch with some ice cream on the side but the cake resembled something of a rock, probably because it was rock hard.  The only good thing is that it is low on the net carb count which is good but what isn’t good is the lack moisture in the cake.

I later learned that coconut flour absorbs the moisture in whatever it is used so that is why my mug chocolate cake came out a total disaster.  So I will be changing a few things around, such as cutting down on coconut flour for a couple of reasons.  It was a very dry cake and maybe by cutting back on the coconut flour it will be a touch moister but # 2 reason is because I’m not a big fan of coconut.  As of this date the only coconut that I like is in coconut macaroons, the way I make them.  I’ll be experimenting with things, such as adding cacao butter and tweaking things here and there to satisfy my sweet tooth, but maybe just getting my car back from the shop will help curb my sweet craving.

Let me wrap this up, I’ve been a lazy person and not really focused on my weight loss.  I’ve loss 3 pounds from my start weight although I had also gained 4 pounds more than my start weight.  Now I’ve got to start getting serious if I want my espresso maker with all the bells and whistles (PID) system attached.  I already have a great coffee grinder which I’m still trying to get the grind right but with such a cheap espresso machine it really makes it hard to get things just right.

One last thing which has been bugging the heck out of me has been my inability to sleep.  I would be lucky to get 4 hours of sleep and it usually was interrupted sleep so that didn’t help any either.  Then when I went for my massage the guy puts a slightly weighted silk scarf across my eyes to block out the light and it helps to calm me down.  Hey get your filthy mind out of the gutter, I’m serious, he is a good therapist and has helped me get past my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome without surgery so I believe in him.  So I usually have to have a towel on my pillow, yes I drool from time to time, so I would use the towel for just in case.  Then I folded the towel a couple of times and put it over my eyes to get me to relax and shut out the bright light my neighbor has on the side of the house that shines in my window to make relax.  I’ve even been able to sleep on my back for the last few nights which is great for me.

Any way, by drinking the alkaline water I’ve started drinking more water and you know that does…it flushes the body system and hydrates you.  So here is to a hydrated me and a me getting more sleep and stressing out less.  I’m now in a tight race with myself because I want that espresso machine.  But the better thing would be that I’m in better shape and health at the end of these 48 days.


Sweet Tooth Catastrophe

Just when I thought it was safe to return to sensible eating…duhn, da duhn……along came a birthday party.  I thought it was all covered in my family gathering back in June but I was wrong….wrong, wrong, wrong….WRONG!  Okay so I could have tried a little bit harder at the birthday party and it was bad that I had the bread on the hamburger and a piece of cake with ice cream but other than that I haven’t been too far off.  Okay I’ll be honest, I’ve been fudging a little bit.

I noticed that lately I’ve had a terrible craving for sweet things, not just cake but all sorts of things.  I read a recipe for paleo white chocolate fudge and it sounded wonderful except for one thing…coconut.  I’m one of those weird people who really doesn’t like coconut.  Well let me take that back, I like coconut macaroons especially since I found a great recipe but of course it has lots of bad things in it like sweetened condensed milk and since I like them slightly crunch, I’ve made them that way and that meant adding flour and stuff like that.  Now where was I…..oh yeah paleo white chocolate fudge.

So, at the time I didn’t realize that cacao butter and cocoa butter were the same, or at least that is what the guy at told me when I inquired.  So any way, I thought it was different and since the recipe called for cacao butter, virgin coconut oil and coconut butter, I thought hey, I’ll just substitute butter for the coconut butter and avocado oil for the coconut oil, but then it called for maple syrup to be a part of the mix and I thought I would try agave nectar instead…..WRONG!  The mixture separated so after the 5 hours required for chilling the fudge the separation was evident and the bottom was the nectar which of course did not harden up.  Then I scraped off the nectar and remelted the mixture and made sure that I whisked it really well and then decided that I would take only a small amount and mix it with the maple syrup only after I heated the syrup as it recommended and yes it did reduce some as suggested.  But then the more I looked at it as I poured it into the cups I noticed that it seemed to be separating again, so since I had more, I put the extra aside and decided that I would then mix in cocoa powder and it had a bitter taste since the powder was of course unsweetened, so I added some liquid Stevia and whisked it all real good and put it in muffin cups and put it in the fridge.  I took the last bit of the butter/cacao/oil mix and then just added Stevia and whisked it together and poured it into cups and again put it to rest with all of the others I was experimenting on.

Did you hear that ticking noise, well it was the ticking of the clock to disappointment.  My attempt at making the fudge was a disaster in all three of the different methods.  The only thing I could think of was the fact that I really don’t like coconut so I substituted butter since it said that could be used in lieu of coconut butter.  Maybe in other things but not in this mixture, I think it was the butter and the amount or lack of fat in the product that kept causing the layers of fudge to separate.  But then again I couldn’t quite call it fudge because it never really became fudge.  The closest attempt was the chocolate one and that was horrible because all of the cocoa powder settled to the bottom of the cup.

I’ve written to the author of the recipe to see if she can make a suggestion because I don’t like coconut.

I know, how dumb is that, a person who is trying to go Primal/Paleo not like coconut?  Well it happens especially to this gal.  The only way I’ve been able to tolerate coconut oil is when it is refined and doesn’t have much of the coconut taste or smell.  Now don’t get me wrong, I like the smell of coconut I just don’t like the taste and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t handle the taste.

So this morning I finished making my Keto Diet Tortillas this morning, or more correctly I finished mixing the dough last night and separated them into their little bundles and threw them in the refrigerator as suggested.  I find that I can make them up in advance and then roll out a few at a time, which was what I did this morning.  So from the three bundles that I had, I ended up with five tortillas which are about 1.5 net carbs and something that I can work with.  Don’t worry I’m getting there, so just be patient with my story telling.  So I want chicken chorizo and know because it doesn’t have a lot of fat in it, it will stick to the pan and then the eggs will stick to the pan and we know what a pain that is to clean.  So I had accidentally picked up virgin coconut oil which had been solid but in my kitchen it quickly turned to liquid minutes after my bringing into my kitchen.  Hey it is not a central air/heat house, it was made in the early 50’s so window units rule.  Now back to the bad story, so I put the virgin unrefined coconut oil in the pan and start to cook the chorizo and then add the eggs and notice that the eggs are sticking some but not as much as expected.  The saddest thing is that I was smelling the coconut oil over the smell of the chorizo but I thought that was probably because I got the smell stuck in my nose and figured it was my imagination.  So I filled my diet tortillas with the chicken chorizo and eggs and added some shredded cheese and sat down and took a big bite of…..COCONUT.  The taste of coconut was overwhelming but I wasn’t going to let the relatively good breakfast go to waste.

About two hours later I was regretting my decision to have breakfast and despite my taking something for the upset stomach it was giving me, the feeling did not go away.  Two more hours later I had to take some more antacid tablets and about twenty minutes later things were okay.  I can’t believe how bad I was feeling from this and then I remembered that the last time I bought unrefined coconut oil I had to throw it out and just finished up the refined coconut oil.

So my lesson is learned, don’t cook/bake or use coconut oil if I want to avoid a tummy ache.  As the title suggests, my sweet-tooth is going into overdrive and wanting to be fed only every time I turn and look for some sweet Paleo/Primal friendly recipe what do I come across it asking for…..coconut oil or coconut butter.  Why can’t it be cacao butter, something that I have and it has a hint of chocolate to it which I love.  The fact of the matter is that I want chocolate.

Oh did I tell you about my break down on Thursday???  No, well let me tell you that it was a very rough day at work and I was just about to fall over the edge and explode because I was frustrated by the people on the phone who never listened to a thing I said and almost all of them chose to curse me out…of course I hung up when they started doing it, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t hear them say all sorts of rude things to me.  Alright, you with me now…frustrated almost beyond control.  I decide that I’m going to have some of the chocolate which one of the guys has been selling for the last month and it was my favorite kind, the one filled with caramel.  So I unwrap the candy bar and I see that the chocolate has oxidized which means that it is old but usually it does not affect the taste of the candy.

It must have been a mental thing seeing the white blotches on the chocolate because when I bit into it I could tell that something was off then I chomped on it and very quickly I could tell that it was just nasty.  Now I have chocolate and have worked with it before, even had it to where the moisture had gone out of it and it appears faded and looking too light but it never tasted as horrible as what I had just put in my mouth.  I grabbed the trashcan and spit out the piece in my mouth and threw the candy bar away.

Now one would think that this would cure my need for chocolate but it only increased it and so on Saturday when I went to the parties I had chocolate cake and ice cream.  Yeah it tasted good and I would later regret it but it almost made up for the horrible work week that I just had last week.  I said almost, give me a break.

So now I’m on the hunt for something sweet that will still keep me within Primal/Paleo acceptable range but things are not looking so good.  Oh and I think because I ate so many bananas as a kid, this is the reason I really don’t like the taste of bananas any longer.  It doesn’t make me sick but the smell is not very pleasing to me, which is also why I have to be careful about how I chose my sunblock lotion.

I have cacao butter now I just need to find some recipes where it is acceptable for me to substitute cacao butter because I want and right now I feel that I need chocolate taste.

My sweet-tooth is getting the best of me so I had better find something quick that is acceptable or else I’m going to fall really hard.  Maybe I should borrow some of my great niece’s pool toys to cushion my fall.  I’m walking a thin line and hope I can keep on walking this line until I get past my need, no make that my craving for something deliciously decadent chocolate dessert.

I’m hanging in there…barely.