Sweet Tooth Catastrophe

Just when I thought it was safe to return to sensible eating…duhn, da duhn……along came a birthday party.  I thought it was all covered in my family gathering back in June but I was wrong….wrong, wrong, wrong….WRONG!  Okay so I could have tried a little bit harder at the birthday party and it was bad that I had the bread on the hamburger and a piece of cake with ice cream but other than that I haven’t been too far off.  Okay I’ll be honest, I’ve been fudging a little bit.

I noticed that lately I’ve had a terrible craving for sweet things, not just cake but all sorts of things.  I read a recipe for paleo white chocolate fudge and it sounded wonderful except for one thing…coconut.  I’m one of those weird people who really doesn’t like coconut.  Well let me take that back, I like coconut macaroons especially since I found a great recipe but of course it has lots of bad things in it like sweetened condensed milk and since I like them slightly crunch, I’ve made them that way and that meant adding flour and stuff like that.  Now where was I…..oh yeah paleo white chocolate fudge.

So, at the time I didn’t realize that cacao butter and cocoa butter were the same, or at least that is what the guy at nuts.com told me when I inquired.  So any way, I thought it was different and since the recipe called for cacao butter, virgin coconut oil and coconut butter, I thought hey, I’ll just substitute butter for the coconut butter and avocado oil for the coconut oil, but then it called for maple syrup to be a part of the mix and I thought I would try agave nectar instead…..WRONG!  The mixture separated so after the 5 hours required for chilling the fudge the separation was evident and the bottom was the nectar which of course did not harden up.  Then I scraped off the nectar and remelted the mixture and made sure that I whisked it really well and then decided that I would take only a small amount and mix it with the maple syrup only after I heated the syrup as it recommended and yes it did reduce some as suggested.  But then the more I looked at it as I poured it into the cups I noticed that it seemed to be separating again, so since I had more, I put the extra aside and decided that I would then mix in cocoa powder and it had a bitter taste since the powder was of course unsweetened, so I added some liquid Stevia and whisked it all real good and put it in muffin cups and put it in the fridge.  I took the last bit of the butter/cacao/oil mix and then just added Stevia and whisked it together and poured it into cups and again put it to rest with all of the others I was experimenting on.

Did you hear that ticking noise, well it was the ticking of the clock to disappointment.  My attempt at making the fudge was a disaster in all three of the different methods.  The only thing I could think of was the fact that I really don’t like coconut so I substituted butter since it said that could be used in lieu of coconut butter.  Maybe in other things but not in this mixture, I think it was the butter and the amount or lack of fat in the product that kept causing the layers of fudge to separate.  But then again I couldn’t quite call it fudge because it never really became fudge.  The closest attempt was the chocolate one and that was horrible because all of the cocoa powder settled to the bottom of the cup.

I’ve written to the author of the recipe to see if she can make a suggestion because I don’t like coconut.

I know, how dumb is that, a person who is trying to go Primal/Paleo not like coconut?  Well it happens especially to this gal.  The only way I’ve been able to tolerate coconut oil is when it is refined and doesn’t have much of the coconut taste or smell.  Now don’t get me wrong, I like the smell of coconut I just don’t like the taste and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t handle the taste.

So this morning I finished making my Keto Diet Tortillas this morning, or more correctly I finished mixing the dough last night and separated them into their little bundles and threw them in the refrigerator as suggested.  I find that I can make them up in advance and then roll out a few at a time, which was what I did this morning.  So from the three bundles that I had, I ended up with five tortillas which are about 1.5 net carbs and something that I can work with.  Don’t worry I’m getting there, so just be patient with my story telling.  So I want chicken chorizo and know because it doesn’t have a lot of fat in it, it will stick to the pan and then the eggs will stick to the pan and we know what a pain that is to clean.  So I had accidentally picked up virgin coconut oil which had been solid but in my kitchen it quickly turned to liquid minutes after my bringing into my kitchen.  Hey it is not a central air/heat house, it was made in the early 50’s so window units rule.  Now back to the bad story, so I put the virgin unrefined coconut oil in the pan and start to cook the chorizo and then add the eggs and notice that the eggs are sticking some but not as much as expected.  The saddest thing is that I was smelling the coconut oil over the smell of the chorizo but I thought that was probably because I got the smell stuck in my nose and figured it was my imagination.  So I filled my diet tortillas with the chicken chorizo and eggs and added some shredded cheese and sat down and took a big bite of…..COCONUT.  The taste of coconut was overwhelming but I wasn’t going to let the relatively good breakfast go to waste.

About two hours later I was regretting my decision to have breakfast and despite my taking something for the upset stomach it was giving me, the feeling did not go away.  Two more hours later I had to take some more antacid tablets and about twenty minutes later things were okay.  I can’t believe how bad I was feeling from this and then I remembered that the last time I bought unrefined coconut oil I had to throw it out and just finished up the refined coconut oil.

So my lesson is learned, don’t cook/bake or use coconut oil if I want to avoid a tummy ache.  As the title suggests, my sweet-tooth is going into overdrive and wanting to be fed only every time I turn and look for some sweet Paleo/Primal friendly recipe what do I come across it asking for…..coconut oil or coconut butter.  Why can’t it be cacao butter, something that I have and it has a hint of chocolate to it which I love.  The fact of the matter is that I want chocolate.

Oh did I tell you about my break down on Thursday???  No, well let me tell you that it was a very rough day at work and I was just about to fall over the edge and explode because I was frustrated by the people on the phone who never listened to a thing I said and almost all of them chose to curse me out…of course I hung up when they started doing it, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t hear them say all sorts of rude things to me.  Alright, you with me now…frustrated almost beyond control.  I decide that I’m going to have some of the chocolate which one of the guys has been selling for the last month and it was my favorite kind, the one filled with caramel.  So I unwrap the candy bar and I see that the chocolate has oxidized which means that it is old but usually it does not affect the taste of the candy.

It must have been a mental thing seeing the white blotches on the chocolate because when I bit into it I could tell that something was off then I chomped on it and very quickly I could tell that it was just nasty.  Now I have chocolate and have worked with it before, even had it to where the moisture had gone out of it and it appears faded and looking too light but it never tasted as horrible as what I had just put in my mouth.  I grabbed the trashcan and spit out the piece in my mouth and threw the candy bar away.

Now one would think that this would cure my need for chocolate but it only increased it and so on Saturday when I went to the parties I had chocolate cake and ice cream.  Yeah it tasted good and I would later regret it but it almost made up for the horrible work week that I just had last week.  I said almost, give me a break.

So now I’m on the hunt for something sweet that will still keep me within Primal/Paleo acceptable range but things are not looking so good.  Oh and I think because I ate so many bananas as a kid, this is the reason I really don’t like the taste of bananas any longer.  It doesn’t make me sick but the smell is not very pleasing to me, which is also why I have to be careful about how I chose my sunblock lotion.

I have cacao butter now I just need to find some recipes where it is acceptable for me to substitute cacao butter because I want and right now I feel that I need chocolate taste.

My sweet-tooth is getting the best of me so I had better find something quick that is acceptable or else I’m going to fall really hard.  Maybe I should borrow some of my great niece’s pool toys to cushion my fall.  I’m walking a thin line and hope I can keep on walking this line until I get past my need, no make that my craving for something deliciously decadent chocolate dessert.

I’m hanging in there…barely.

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