Day 11 Was Good

I’m sure you’re thinking, yeah right day 11 was good but you might doubt it because I forgot to write about it, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t stay on the primal path.  I stayed true to it and I also exercised.

It was a busy morning, I went to bed late and woke up later than I wanted so that meant that I had to get busy and clean up so I could go grocery shopping so I could get things to keep me true to the diet.  So off I went grocery shopping without a chance for breakfast but I wasn’t really hungry until I got home from shopping.  Well I decided it was time to eat so I had a great lunch, a chili cheese dog and chips.  Now I’m sure you’re thinking.. whoa there that can’t be right!  Well I bought turkey franks which only have 5 grams of carbs per frank, I use regular bread, hot dog chili and shredded cheese and when I’ve been eating chips they are Fritos.  They give a carb count on Fritos based on 32 chips which have a carb count of 16, so I’ve only had 16 chips each time, just enough to let me eat them but not go crazy.

Let me go ahead and get the food listing over with and then I’ll talk about the rest of the day.

BREAKFAST:  Oops, missed it.

LUNCH:  2 chili cheese dogs and Fritos – 40 gm

SNACK:  coffee w/creamer – 2 gm

DINNER:  salad, cheesy hash browns, cheese hamburger patty, pea salad – 30 gm

Well now that the food listing is over I can figure out why so much of yesterday was just a good day…oh yeah it was although my work partner was an EDQ earlier in the shift, by the end of the evening she was almost as if she was out of steam and had settled down.  Of course in the beginning of the day she was yakking and of course she had to tell us about the latest problem with her puppy.  When I told her that she needed to correct her dog she said that she knows what she is doing because her other two older dogs used to do that but then they stopped doing it now that they are older.  EDQ continued telling anyone who would listen about her dog until they finally told her to stop and told her how to correct it. The funny thing was she listened to them and their reasoning and EDQ got very quiet then, as if her feelings had been hurt but she started looking on the internet to watch Nancy Grace.  So it was a relatively quiet evening and it made it rather pleasant to work on the night.

So it was an interesting night after EDQ talked herself out and best of all is that everyone is beginning to see how annoying EDQ can be so more of them are telling her to stop repeating things.  Finally someone else sees what hell I’ve been through the last year.  The first eight months she was assigned to work at the location she was loud but not as loud as she is now and she wasn’t as excitable but that was then and now, well now I guess I just have to put on a thicker skin until she tires herself out which means when most of the personnel leave work which is 2000 hours, which means that for 5 hours I have to put up with her but I can survive and I will.

One easy way is for me to think about what I need to do in the form of exercise and usually once things slow down, I will take my break and go walk on the treadmill which makes her answer the phones and pretty much makes her stay at the desk.  So I think I will try to take my break again, for almost 5 years I have not had a chance to take my breaks so now on the days that I have a partner I need to do some walking on either the treadmill or else out in the parking lot.  So yippy for me a way to work things out for the betterment of me by walking.  The more steps I take the better off I am for the day and it also helps me to lose weight.

So I did 1 1/2 miles on the treadmill and that combined with my walking around at the grocery store gave me almost a count of over 10,000 steps for the day.  On day 11 I liked my step counter but I don’t have a good feeling about today’s step count.

Got home and had a couple of shots of double chocolate vodka and went to bed relatively early.  So now I’m off to start working on today’s (day 12’s entry), so I’ll see ya soon.

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Day 4

Well I thought today would be a relatively easy day, well that went to hell in a hand basket real quick.  So I get up and everything seems to be okay, I take my mother grocery shopping and mostly everything goes okay but that was after the poop hit the fan the first time.

I had ordered a plane ticket for my mother so she could fly out and see our friend who is dying of lung cancer, she even said it was okay to buy the plane ticket yesterday.  So I thought I bought her one but it turns out that the sale did not complete and so I called the airlines asking about it and was told that the sale did not go through and that I would need to go back on line and re-order the ticket.  Well my mother said to never mind she would take the bus, so no problem…right?  NO!

After 0230 hours I received a text message from the airlines giving me the plane ticket information as well as the itinerary so it turns out that the sale went through but it took this long to register.  So I finally went to bed shortly after that and decided that I could wait to tell my mother about the ticket going through, she needed to stay asleep.

So when I remembered to mention it while we were grocery shopping she got very upset stating that she didn’t want to fly and she hates to fly.  She has problems with her ears not popping and now she doesn’t want anyone to see that she is too weak to put her carry-on bag in the overhead bin.  So I have to cancel the ticket only they tell me that since the ticket was in my mother’s name only she could use it although I bought the ticket.  So I sent a message to customer relations on the airlines and they will get back to me with more details.  Things aren’t looking too good and it looks like I spent $140 for nothing because unless they let me pay $11 more dollars and turn it into a voucher under my name since I paid for the ticket then that will be wasted money.  My mother was adamant about not flying any more, so it looks like my day is just getting crappier.

As I’m trying to wolf down my baked potato lunch I started getting text messages from EDQ (my work partner) still fishing around trying to find out what is wrong and how she is under soooo much stress from her friend and the still-born baby.  I still am trying to keep it quiet as to what is going on with me although she unfortunately knows about me putting my dog to sleep.  It might have been okay at 1 text but EDQ keeps on texting me and sends me 3 more texts saying she is under so much stress.

I thanked her but told her to stop because I have other private things and I prefer to deal with them on my own and not have them broadcast to the station.  Of course EDQ took offense but I stepped down and didn’t write back.  I get to work and one of my co-workers is asking worker if they can give something so I said I would try to bake a cake.

Less than an hour later EDQ is texting me at least 5 messages saying that I could have called if I wanted to find out what was going on, I wanted to yell at her that I asked her if she would call me and let me know because I didn’t want to ever interrupt any of her time with the family and said that last Friday.  Then she keeps on saying she didn’t appreciate what I said about it being broadcast.  Well I wanted to yell at her again that here is the proof.  I only told 2 people at work about having to put my dog down and one of them was EDQ and guess what the whole station now knows and my captain came up and extended her sympathies but I was an ass and was freaking out and sort of snapped.  I apologized and thanked her for her sentiments and later sent her an email again apologizing for my behavior.  Doesn’t pay to piss off a captain.

So if the Captain knows about me putting my dog to sleep and the other person I told hasn’t been to work since I told her, then guess who…yep…Ms EDQ told everyone else my business.  I’m busy trying to do my work and she is still texting me. I finish what I was doing and tell her I appreciated her concern but asked her to stop and let me handle things my own way.  Well of course that offended her and someone working around me saw me start to lose it.  I accidentally slipped about the one of the other tragedies happening to me and suddenly realize my mistake.  She is the one who texted the EDQ that I was going to bring a cake so I quickly told her that I did not want anyone else to know what has happened to me and what is going on and asked her not to reveal my secret.  She saw how upset I was and said she would keep my secret, I can only hope.  Then she kept hearing my phone chime and asked if that was EDQ and I said yes and she apologized saying she knows it is rough and she would distract EDQ which she did and it let me get my work done.

Now I had figured that today would be a relatively stress free day at work but boy oh boy was I wrong.  I’ll be surprised if I don’t have at least 5 more pimples or blemishes pop up on my face.  I’ve got to learn how to do quick meditations to relax me because I can’t keep on grabbing a drink every night after work.

Well I’ve been pushing the envelope when it comes to eating today so let me get right down to it.

 

BREAKFAST:  1 cup coffee w/creamers, 2 strips of bacon, 1 square of milk chocolate   – 13g

LUNCH:  1 medium size baked potatoe w/cheese/hot dog chili/ranch dressing    – 53g

DINNER:  1 – serving of pot roast, mashed potatoes, green beans   – 25g

Well in looking at it, I’m damn close to 100 but thankfully not over.  So although my count is at 90 grams, I really don’t want to push my luck.

I’m so tired of being stressed out and it would be okay if it involved work but when someone at work is bring way too much of their private to work….well it pushes me to the limit.  Saddest thing of all is that one of the guys here at work looked at me and asked if I was getting enough sleep because he said I looked tired.  Funny thing is that I’ve been getting about 6 1/2 to 7 hours of sleep but because of all of the stress I’m looking exhausted and I can feel the stress even in my chest.  I might take tomorrow off and maybe give my head and heart time to relax.

Actually looking forward to seeing my relief tonight because he is going to talk to me about getting the door on my mother’s back outside door replaced and I will show him pictures to see if what he suggested will work.  Here’s hoping!

Oh yeah, I guess I need to confess something and no I’m not talking about anything religious.  I decided that I was going to get on the scale even after I had breakfast and much to my surprise it read 207.1 pounds and so that means that I lost 2 pounds.  Pretty cool if you ask me.

 

GOOD: Keeping my carb count under 100.  So far a 2 pound weight loss.  Good sleep but obviously not enough sleep.

 

BAD:  STRESS!!!!!!!!  And More STRESS!!!!!!  Also bad is my letting this bother me too much.  Still need to focus on mini meditation sessions.  If I could handle the stress then maybe soon I could stop having what I did that was bad.

Still a work in progress

Day 3

I’m screaming crazy today.  My stupid Extreme Drama Queen work partner came back from dealing with the mentioned subject that I swore I wouldn’t talk about.  She explained all about what she has been doing to everyone else in the building but me.  Then she asked if I had put down my dog and I said yes and she started to tear up…can you believe that, she started to tear up.   She has never seen my dog, has never met my dog and doesn’t even know the name of my dog but she starts crying and then she adds that bit of information and starts going around crying on everyone’s shoulders about how I had to put my dog to sleep.  Hell I’m the one that put her to sleep and I really didn’t plan on sharing that with anyone else other than those I had talked to but what does EDQ (sorry Dairy Queen) do, she goes around the building telling everyone my business.

She acts as if she is the only one who knows what happened and I’ve heard the story at least 10 times today.  Then she cries because someone violated policy and when someone reported that person, well his boss fired him so of course EDQ had to cry about that bit of information and then she went around blaming one of the other co-workers for the guy being fired, getting everyone riled up about the firing.

The only good thing is that the EDQ is taking off tomorrow, although it is not listed in the books, but that means a quiet day for me.  Also what bugs the crap out of me is that she is trying to get everyone to fork over lots of money so the people with the dead child will not have to pay for the burial of their child.  She is way over the line in asking for our department to cough up the money to pay for something like that.  We have just over $800 and no one is willing to give more but EDQ is going to badger people until they give more.  I hope they tell her to jump in a lake.

MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

 

Okay I think I’m a little bit better for the moment….I hope.

So my stress level is almost off the charts and it has not done any wonders for my blood pressure except keep my blood pressure high.  I know I took my blood pressure early in the morning but I was already stressing out about what I would have to face today and it was just as bad if not worse than I had expected.  I’ve got to learn how to meditate and do one of those 5 minute calming meditations.  Maybe I should try and find someone in the area who could help with it and if not maybe I’ll talk to my Acupuncture doctor about maybe helping with my stress.

Unfortunately I learned that I will not be able to go see my brother’s mother-in-law this week (you know the one that I mentioned is dying with cancer) but I hope that she will be okay until next week when I try to break away to go see her.

Well I guess I should really get to the meat of things which is what I’ve been eating or not eating.

 

BREAKFAST:  coffee w/creamer and 2 strips of bacon   –  6 grams

LUNCH:  tunafish sandwich w/slice of cheese  –  26 grams

DINNER:  trail mix – 17 grams

 

Well as you can see I really haven’t eaten very much so knowing me now that the EDQ has left the building and I get this last hour of peace to myself, I can finally relax.  Unfortunately that means that as I’m relaxed my appetite is coming back on me, so maybe I can find something healthy to eat at home.

Oh yeah, I guess I should tell you that yesterday was very stressful for me.  So stressful that I went home and had 3 cordial shots of Limoncello and boy did that hit the spot.  I also had some cheese and bacon.  The best thing of all is that I only had about maybe 2-3 more carbs and that was all.  So probably knowing me, I will go home and have Limoncello again for a relaxer if you know what I mean.

 

 

GOOD:  Carb counts for all 3 meals

 

BAD:  Carb counts for all 3 meals because I didn’t eat very well today.     Also the amount of STRESS that I had at work today was extremely bad and I almost lost my patience and screamed but then it would have just made people have more sympathy for the EDQ because she would have cried on their shoulders.

 

Well it looks like it will be Limoncello again tonight or maybe I’ll splurge and make a hurricane.  All I know is that I need a drink.