154 Starting

Okay so you’re thinking what the hell does 154 mean, or maybe just wishful thinking on my part.  So eventually I will reveal exactly what 154 is all about.  First let me dispel a few ideas you may have about what 154 means.

154 does not mean the amount of weight that I need to lose because thankfully I’m not quite that fluffy.

154 is not my desired weight goal.

So what is 154?  Okay I’ll give a hint, the number will decrease on a steady basis.  Well that probably gave it all away and that is about all that I’ll say for now.

This blog actually will tie into that number because yes I’m also trying to lose weight.

If you’ve been following me on this site and although there aren’t many, I do appreciate the few of you who happen to drop by for a laugh or for a read.  I’m still trying to lose weight and I can actually say that I feel as if I’ve given up my potato hack dieting for good.  I had several attempts to get back onto it but within a day or two of restarting I would fall by the side.

So what is the difference this time?  My will power is still as weak as ever so instead I’m going to take an old age-old stab at continuing to try and lose weight.  I stepped on the scale this afternoon after having lunch and about went into shock, I was at 218.1 pounds and based on my 5’3″ frame, that is way too much weight.  The only good thing is the fact that the clothes that I wear hide some of my obesity or at least that is what I used to think.

The other day I took a good look in the mirror, a really good look and let out a big sigh.  I couldn’t believe just how fat I looked in my underwear and it saddened me.  No, didn’t depress me because I try not to let too many things depress me.

So something pretty cool happened last night and thus I came up with 154.

I’m sure so many of us large or fluffy people have been constantly checking out the internet about our weight problem and how to lose weight.  I’ll admit that I surf the net too much and I’m always looking for the easy way to lose weight.  Yes I did rapidly put on 60 pounds because of the eating habits, lack of exercise, how unhappy I was and because I was always getting sick with allergies.  Those were my dark days and I’m going to put them behind me.

One thing that I’ve always done when I’ve been successful in losing weight, increasing my water, doing more walking, more exercising and slowly decreasing the bad things that I eat or ate too much of in the past.  So my goal is each day to do some form of exercise, it doesn’t have to be a lot but just some form of exercise each and every day until 154 comes to fruition.

The weird thing is that usually I’m all excited about the cold of winter coming on but for some reason this year I’m just thankful that it is cool in the evening because it is allowing me to sleep.  During the summer I only managed to get broken sleep and usually the max amount added up was 4 1/2 or 5 hours of sleep which I can tell you is not good.  As we all know the body needs the rest of sleep in order to help us lose weight.  If that was all we needed to do to lose weight I would become Rip Van Winkle but maybe not.  I would just like to sleep a solid eight hours and it would be nice but I still go to bed early in the morning and most of my sleep is still interrupted with my neighbor’s young dog.

Okay, time out while I stand up on my soap box and gripe about my neighbor and his dog.  He made a big point of showing off his dog and trying to walk his dog.  Only he did about everything wrong in walking his dog so much that Cesar Millan was probably cringing.  The dog was in control and my neighbor was just walking his dog as if to show off what he now had and giving a long 3 syllable name when it is best to have it at no more than 2 syllables.  He doesn’t play with his dog, he no longer walks his dogs, he ignores his dog’s late night barking which wakes me up but worse of all is they always yell “NO” at the dog because he is trying to heard the children.  The dog is a German Shepherd, a herding and guard dog but he hasn’t bother to teach his grandchildren about his dog so when the kids run away from their grandmother, the dog tries to heard them back to the grandmother by grabbing their wrists.  So of course the kids don’t understand what is going on and they all start screaming at the dog and chasing the dog away.  It is no wonder the dog is practically scared of his own shadow.  A couple of months ago the dog started barking at me as I mowed the lawn so as I was emptying the bag I went to pet the dog but he ran off.  Eventually with my softly speak the dog’s name and sweet sounding voice the dog came over to me and I let him sniff me.  He ran off but quickly returned and of course I rewarded him by petting him and giving him a good back scratching.  Now whenever I go outside the dog has a happy bark when he sees me.        LAST PART….  I hate it when people get animals as a status symbol and don’t do anything to be involved in the animal’s life.  …..STEPPING OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW THAT I’VE PUT IN MY 2 CENTS WORTH.

So now back to sleep, I’m still hoping for good sleep but the important thing I’m trying is to eat smaller quantities of food and increase my water intake.  I used to be good but have fallen off the water wagon.  So I bought a new water pitcher, one for work and one for home so I will always have clean cold filtered water and can stop buying bottles of water.

I’m also hoping to lower my blood pressure because I really don’t feel like breaking in a new doctor because the PN I used to go to was a pain and never listened to a thing I ever said.  So I know by regularly exercising I can decrease my blood pressure and I’m also taking some supplements to are said to help decrease the build up of plaque in arteries.  So we’ll see just how 154 works out for me.


P D E – End of Slacking


Yes it has been quite some time since I’ve been here and there is a good reason but I’ll get back to you when I figure out what that good reason is but so far all I can think of is because I’ve been avoiding reporting my slacker type of attitude towards dieting late.

My last day dedicated to my PDE was on Day 40 so when I stepped on the scale on Day 41, what was when my weight showed that I had lost 25 pounds which is the most that I’ve lost since my 20’s.  Okay in case you haven’t guessed it was a long time ago.  But back then I was a lot younger than I am today and I managed to lose 30 pounds in 3 months which was the most I had ever lost.  One thing I need to mention is the fact that I was exercising, doing HIIT jogging for 5 miles, 6 days a week no matter the weather.  So here I’ve lost 25 pounds in 40 days of dieting and no exercising, so my PDE (potato dieting experiment) has given me a faster initial weight loss.  I wish I could have focused on dieting and maybe I would have loss even more weight but maybe also lost my sanity.

Okay so enough of the whining and crying about what I had done in the past.  For the past 16 days I haven’t been following my PDE ways.  Don’t get me wrong, I would start off eating my potatoes but then I would fudge and have a latte that I would make, or have something other than potatoes.  Now I will say that when I finished with Thanksgiving meals and weekend, I had gained 7 pounds but I stepped up on the scale this morning (Day 57) from when I first started I saw that I had gained 6.2 pounds from day 40.  The only thing that has helped a little bit is the water that I’ve been drinking.

Uh oh, I just took a look at the numbers and I see that I’ve been almost dieting for 60 days and I’m back to 19.8 pound loss which means it is time to really get serious about PDE.  Yeah I know you’ve heard it before and so have I but it suddenly hit me that if I had been doing this right then there is a chance that I could be closer to 190 pounds which is what my goal is for starting the new year.  Yeah I would love to weigh even less but I think trying to lose 11.2 pounds is a realistic goal for me.  Oh wow, this means that as of tomorrow when I start my PDE again, I will have 27 days to lose a total of 11.2 pounds.  Hopefully I won’t be any heavier tomorrow when I do my weigh-in but I guess only time will tell.  Crap, I’ve got to get serious about my weight loss to achieve my goal.

I just remember that my zoo membership has passed and I need to renew it so I can hopefully try to do a little bit of walking at the zoo and maybe that casual walking around the zoo can help me in getting to my end of the year goal.  So maybe it is a sign that this is going to work this time because when I first started my PDE I had just returned from my massage appointment and stepped up on the scale and found that I was at one of my heaviest weight, 220.  It was after that time of stepping up on the scale that scared me into getting on my PDE.

So now I’m going back on PDE and  feel good about starting this again.

Tomorrow will actually be a good starting time, because I’ll just come back from my massage appointment and all of the tempting food that has been screaming “EAT ME” every time I’ve been opening the fridge.  Now since those screaming food items have been put in the freezer and in sealed bags I will not be as tempted to eat anything but my lovely potatoes.  Oh and one other good things, I went to the grocery store and bought more potatoes s I can have a variety again when I eat my potatoes.

One more thing is that I’ve been getting an upset stomach almost every night as well as having problems sleeping so it will be good to get back to doing my PDE.

Next time I write I will be back on track to health, or least trying to be healthier.

Potato Diet Experiment

Okay so just in case you just found this site by accident, let me catch you up on things.  I’m an old fart pretty set in her ways but I have been known to change my ideas and ways.

For example, when I was younger, I was thin and considerably healthy.  It wasn’t until my mid 30’s that I realized I was putting on weight but it didn’t stop there, the weight continued to pile on my poor little body.  I say little because I’m only 5’3″ and even when I was thin, I was at least 10 pounds over what those so called charts claimed I should weight.  Most of my weight was muscle weight and I had the large thighs to prove it and the sturdy shoulders.  So as I said time caught up with me as did my very poor eating habits and soon I was 20, then 40, 50, 75 and now I’m 90 pounds heavier than my expected weight which is actually going to be 15 pounds more than the dumb ol’ chart says I should weight.  So now that I’ve confused you about all of those numbers, let me tell you that my best weight for when I was jogging like a mad woman (5 miles a day 6 days out of the week, no matter what the weather) and ate whatever I could because at that time I only had $12 a week for groceries.  Now granted that was back in the late 80’s but it was still hard to make ends meet.  Years later I moved to a different area and found that I wasn’t able to maintain my jogging schedule or lifestyle.  I made a bit more money but for some reason I just couldn’t get it together.

Let’s jump ahead to the turn of the century and my weight had skyrocketed to 222 pounds.  Yes I was a tubby round ball but at the time my BP was good and I was still rather limber and could do lots of things so unfortunately I didn’t monitor my weight any more.  Just after the turn of the century I lost 22 pounds in 17 days while on vacation in Europe.  How did I do that?  Lots and lots of walking.  On average we walked anywhere from 5-10 miles a day and of course at that time I fashioned myself a decent picture taker (not good enough to call myself a photographer) so I lugged around my heavy camera and lenses.  If you’re wondering what I ate, let’s just say I ate whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted and didn’t worry about drinking sodas or liquor.  The weight stayed off me for about 2 years and then it quickly came back.

After 2005 I’ve never weighed any less than 212 pounds and I would yo-yo back and forth all of the time for the next 11 years.  I would try one diet and it would work okay but then I would break down and mess up for a couple of days and either ignore going back on the diet or else I would get very discouraged when I would return to the diet and soon after I would forget about eating properly.  There were so many things that I liked but it was taking a toll on my body and still is…only for the moment.

I’ve all sorts of diets and had moderate success, the most successful one to date was the Primal Blueprint diet but it only seemed to work really well on the first attempt.

Doing Primal, I had come back from a Sci-Fi convention and found that I was out of breath during the convention and on the trip back I was miserable because I had sinus problems.  It quickly escalated into a sinus infection and of course my blood press was through the roof.  Despite all this I went on the PB diet and I really couldn’t have picked a worse time, sinus infection, high BP and just all around feeling like Crap!  I didn’t last the 21 days as he suggests, I was only able to last maybe 15 days and struggled to get back aligned again but it never happened and I lost about 11-12 pounds.

Since that time it has been a constant struggle for me to get rigidly back on the PB diet and since then I’ve tried to do it again but I just can’t seem to get my mind and body to cooperate so this is why I’ve yo-yo dieted on the PB plan.  I’ve tried the one day diet but that left me feeling hungry all of the time and on so many diets they say to eat certain foods.  The only problem is that some of the foods I don’t like the way they taste and other foods do not work well with my digestive system.  So I quickly get tired of having the same limited vegetables and there have been a few times that I’ve wished I could eat something other than a steak but that was all that I had prepared in advance.  Most other diets are pretty expensive, asking you to purchase things like a juicer (yes tried juicing diets), buy a better blender than I have that chops and hacks up vegetables to liquid and now I have a garage full of items that I really don’t use half the time.  I know I need to have a garage sale but some of those items I still use on occasion, plus knowing me I’ll find some way to use them once I’ve sold them.

I’ve done the exercise thing, jogging, riding my bike, working out at home and working out in a gym with very limited success.  I tend to enjoy riding by myself or working out by myself which isn’t always a good thing should something go wrong.  So thanks to CTS I can’t ride my bicycle any more because of the pressure it puts on my wrists as I hold onto my handlebars; I can’t jog besides being too fat, I have heel spurs; as for jogging, well this fat body can’t handle the stress and strain.

I even bought a very expensive recumbent trike, although it was one of the cheapest models and I love riding it and tend to ride out in the country on the open roads.  When I say open roads, I really mean open roads where the small towns are 25-50 miles apart and I ride from one town to the other and sometimes back to return to my car.  I got severely sunburned to the point of putting blisters on my face, so I dialed back when I could ride.  I bought a nice overhead shade for my trike but then thanks to health issues I didn’t have the energy to ride.  It started last year and image my stress as I’m 25 miles from the nearest town and where I parked my vehicle and I’ve hit the exercise wall.  The only thing I saw along the route were vultures, jack rabbits, snakes and baby quails, so in another words, I was out in the middle of nowhere.  I had to rest up and eat the rest of my snacks to try and get energy to make it back to town and most of the trip was uphill.  Thankfully I learned that I was extremely anemic and I’ve been working on fixing that issue.

About now you’re probably saying to yourself or mentally thinking so why in the hell is she tell me this.  I’ll explain, it is to show how many things I’ve tried to lose weight and some of my failures.  Oh don’t get me wrong, I plan to continue riding my recumbent trike from Texas to California and I still have over 200 miles to get out of Texas which I hope to complete one of these days but odds are it won’t be until next year if I can fit it between my plans.  I could always wish for someone to ride with me and then I would take the time off but I hate riding at someone else’s pace because it’s always faster than my touring speed which is not fast.

Now back to our original point of this blog.  As you can see I’ve had a whole bunch of failures at so many things I’ve tried to do but lack of willpower has been a part of the problem.  Sure I had willpower to stop smoking cold turkey but this is food, wonderful, tasty, lip smacking food I’m going to have give up.

So in my search I’m looking for a way to do body weight exercises in my public library computer site when I come across Penn Jillette talking about how he lost 100 pounds in 84 days.  Of course this caught my attention, so I did a check for it on Amazon and did a look inside and thought it might help.  So off to my local library to check out the book.  It was filled with some information but mostly it was Penn being himself and using language he usually uses and he talks about his turn at this potato diet which his friend got him on.  It looked simple enough but as I’m reading this, I don’t really see any clear definition of this diet except eating potatoes plain then corn followed by beans.

Of course this sent me back to the Internet to look up different peoples versions of being on the Potato Diet.  One guy only had potatoes, water and a beer once in a while and lost a lot of weight.  Another guy says peel the potatoes and to boil them and hold them in the fridge for when you get hungry, another place talks about recipes to use potatoes or they have you add things like salt, pepper and vinegar, recipes for potato soup and they add meat into it.  Another site has you only eating potatoes 3-5 days a week then going to regular eating then going back on the potato diet again at the beginning of the week.  Needless to say there was an onslaught of information and so I came to the conclusion that I was going to have to try and make my way through this mess.

One of the things I got from everyone’s input was that I could have water, black coffee and unsweetened tea.  I’ve tried the unsweetened tea and thought I was gagging, so it looks like coffee will have to be my means of putting caffeine into my diet for the time being.

So you’re probably wondering why, other than me wanting to finally lose weight, was I going to try this next crazy diet?  Well I’ve been having some major digestion issues so much that I was popping TUMS like they were candy and drinking Alka-Seltzer every night before going to bed which was not such a good thing.  I also had such an upset stomach that it was waking me up several times a night.

The final straw occurred on Sunday night as I lay reading my book by Penn, I was getting severe stomach cramps so much that I was lucky if I got more than two hours of sleep at a time.  I was miserable and it wasn’t so great because I didn’t even know if I would be able to make my massage appointment but thankfully I did make it to the appointment.

So taking all of the antacids, stomach cramps, feeling sick all the time after eating and having to go buy larger and larger size pants was almost becoming quite stressful.  Maybe now was the time to try something OUT THERE!

Let’s see how it goes.

Art Of Listening Is Dead

Believe it or not, this is actually related to this blog and soon you will understand.  But for the moment indulge me and just believe me when I state that the art of listening is dead.  It truly is dead at least I’ve experienced it way too many times, both in my job, when speaking with customer service representatives and also in the professional field.

So I started to wonder as to why I consider the art of listening to be dead, I mean I like listening to music but music isn’t dead.  I like talking with my friends and they are not dead, so what could be the problem.  Oh yeah, maybe a part of it has to do with how we say things.  Too often I find that I am speaking with people other than family or friends, the people I’m speaking with tend to meander around and I way too often wonder if they have a point or what their question will be so way too often I stop them and ask them what is it that I can help them with or if they understood my question/answer.  Now I should know better than to do this because it interrupts their chain of thought and usually they have to start over from the beginning which usually means that I have to sit there and listen to them ramble on once again.

I’ve learned that if you acknowledge what a person is saying then it helps them get past the point they were trying to explain but that doesn’t always work.  So now that you’ve heard me ramble on allow me to give you my example and why I truly believe what I stated above.

Now I don’t know if any of you have been following my blog and know about my problems so let me sum it up quickly.  I used to be slender and fit but now I’m not.  I’m severely overweight and I have high blood pressure.  My mowing my lawn in the hot temperature and high humidity is what led me back to trying to get in to see a doctor since I haven’t been on my blood pressure meds since August of last year.

Okay, history lesson over.  So I go into the doctor’s office and see the Nurse Practitioner and explain about my heart beating harder than usual while mowing and how long I’ve been off my meds.  I stated I a few (3) pills which I took weeks ago but now I’m out and since I want to start exercising I would rather not strain my heart too much.  So basically for 3 days I took meds that were left over from September of last year and have not been on the medication for 24 days.

So I step into the office and right away I cringe as I step on the scale and see that my weight has gone up to a whopping 221.2 pounds which is not good but I can at least say that is with my clothes on and lately I can button my pants without sucking in my gut.  Then as usual they put me in a room where they take my blood pressure, only the machine is having a very hard time trying to get a blood pressure reading and finally it comes up with 190/110 now I don’t know if you’re familiar with this reading, I’m getting pretty close to stroking out.  Or at least that is what it should mean but I’m not red in the face, I’m not having difficulty breathing and my heart rate was 97 which unfortunately is normal for me since I’ve had high blood pressure.  However, instead of the medical assistant taking a second reading because that reading was way too high, she let it stand and walked out of the room.

In walks the NP and I explain things and all she can hear is that my BP is way to high, she accepted the BP that the medical assistant took and the NP states that my current BP medication is not working so she is going to change it to another drug which I said I did not want to take because somewhere in the back of my mind I remember it not working, so I said no the usual prescription should be okay but she says no and is insisting on upping my medication and possibly making me double my dosage to twice a day.

I tried to explain to her that I have not regularly been on the medication because 3 days does not establish a pattern especially when I don’t have any more pills.  I even told her that I found those pills I took I found hidden in the back of my cabinet and that was all left over from September of last year and I hadn’t had any meds since last September but all she apparently heard was….    blah, blah, blah blaaaa-hh, blah blah blah took meds earlier this month.

So she wrote me a prescription for a medication that is too strong and if I take this then I know that I will black out, it is what happens when it drops my blood pressure too low which is what the higher medication does.  But I sit in the office realizing that she is not listening to a single word that I’m saying and so I try to be patient but she took my trying to clarify her misunderstanding as my defying her and so she sends back in the medical assistant who just hands me a paper which talks about the side effects of the medication and a log of sorts to document my blood pressure.  So hoping that the NP took into account my information, I go and make an appoint to see her in 2 weeks.

I actually was kind of concerned as I left the office because I haven’t had BP measurements that high ever, so I drive home because I see that it is getting late and I have to start getting ready for work which in case you can’t guess, can be quite stressful at times.  Okay so as I’m driving home, I’m dealing with some really bad drivers on the road and barely avoid 2 accidents.  I decided that something is wrong because when I look at myself in the mirror, I’m not red in the face, I’m feeling okay and my heart isn’t straining, my breathing is fine so I decide to get out my own BP machine and take my own BP.  First time it comes up at 158/102 with a pulse of 106 which is high but not OH MY GOD HELP ME, I’M GOING TO HAVE A STROKE !!!!!   No not at that level so I decided to go ahead and make my lunch and start getting ready for work but I manage to sit down and decided to take my BP and only about 35 minutes have passed so I take my BP again.  Guess what????    I didn’t have a stroke and as a matter of fact my pressure had dropped to 150/96 with a pulse of 97.  Now granted this was 35 minutes later than when I last took my BP and I’ve been moving around fixing lunch and getting my uniform ready for work but I managed to sit down on the sofa and took the reading and got a much better reading.

So at work I call the pharmacy and find out she gave me a prescription too strong and not the type I requested, silly me for knowing what works well with my body, never mind that I’ve been taking this particular type of medication since 2001 and have increased the strength when I went up to higher elevation and decreased it when I moved to lower elevation.  But I don’t know a thing about my body and how it reacts.  Oh and in case you were wondering about the other med she was going to prescribe to me, I had some friends on those meds, even my mother took it and they all lost a lot of their hair.  I don’t have much going for me but I really love the thickness of my hair and the texture of it, provided I’m not sick.

Tomorrow I’m going to call and tell her about my readings and ask why she didn’t insist on the medical assistant retaking my BP, especially when she did an EKG on me and things looked okay but displayed a more rapid pulse rate than most people my age.  It will be interesting to see if she will take her medical training and my information into consideration or if she is going to stick to her guns because if she does than my visit today was the first and last visit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to see another doctor, it just may be a while before I can get in to see one.  In the mean time I guess I’m going to take it easy on exercising especially in the high temperatures when there is a high humidity and since we’re about to go into our drought time, being in the heat will be easier than being in the heat with humidity.

Alright now, we’re back on track.  So how does this matter considering this is about my stumbling attempts to lose weight?  I’ll explain.  I’m going to go back to eating Primal and it is my hope that by the time I head out to DragonCon I will at least be 200 pounds but I would like to be less.  This means that I’m going to have to start eating better and I’m taking OTC supplements to help unclog my arteries and slowly build up my miles on my recumbent trike (pedal power rocks except when you roll over rocks).

I kind of went the long way around but I guess I wanted you to see the amount of frustration that I experienced, which was way too much but that was after the NP chose to ignore all of my input.

What is the moral of the story, be concise when speaking or asking questions.  Think about what you really want to know and then try to express yourself, whether be to ask a question or to answer a question in a precise way so it doesn’t get lost or misconstrued by the receiver.

But if you’re a total nut case….like me…..then you can blog about it all you want and hope that people who read the blog will just laugh at my antics.  Hey, I’m laughing so why not cut loose and let yourself laugh.  You can do it either now or at a later time…the choice is yours.

So as of today I’m going to focus on eating primal, good thing I cooked a lot of meat in advance because I like meat!!  Okay I like some veggies and at least I’m trying to expand my taste buds with a few different type of veggies.  Hey it is what has worked in the past but my only problem was that I never stuck with it.  So maybe if I stick with it enough to lose the 20 pounds by Labor Day maybe I can last even longer.

What is the one thing you can take away from this…..LISTEN.   I know that I need to practice this but I must admit to being frustrated when it takes more than 5 minutes to explain what the problem may be or to ask a question.  I hope you have more patience than me and hope your day/night is good.

Different Approach


Okay so here I am once again writing in this blog and wishing that I still wasn’t overweight, but just in case you couldn’t guess, I’m still overweight.  Basically I have no will power and at home no one really cares that I’m trying to diet and when family all get together it is a marathon of eating all of the worse things.

So here I am with about 2 weeks to go until my family reunion as they go about trying to plan for things to eat and although it is usually sort of healthy, I fall back into the area of having fajita tacos which means that I’m eating tortillas, usually flour and eating all sorts of other things which are really that good for me.

Lately I’ve rediscovered baking but seeing that I’m trying to watch my carbs, that means that regular flour is out and you can’t always substitute almond flour for places where you would usually used regular flour.  I’ve tried baking using a sifted combination of almond flour and tapioca flour and although it is good, I have to be careful about the amount of liquids that I add into the mixture.  In the recipe that I’m adapting they suggest using coconut flour which gives it a type of denseness but I don’t like the taste of coconut in milk, flour or oil.  Yeah I know sounds kind of silly for someone who has been trying to go paleo/primal because apparently most of them believe that you can’t cook/bake a single thing without these products but I hate coconut.  No, let me take that back.  My mother has an awesome recipe for coconut macaroons but since it is made with sweetened condensed milk and I’ve yet to figure out how to make that type of milk in a primal fashion, I’m not going to be eating coconut.

So now I’ve come across something that has peaked my interest once again and so I’m trying it to see how well I can stay on it.  The diet is very restrictive…..NOT!  The exercise plan is very strenuous…..NOT!  Worse of all it is extremely complicated….NOT!!

For dieting there is some restriction and actually it is a pretty good thing to do and fairly simple.  Cut Out Wheat !!  Yeah really he says it is that simple.  So I started doing some limited research on cutting out the wheat in my diet and am pretty amazed at how much wheat are in so many common products.  In my research I also learned that there are several other products which have wheat in them but that is only a part of the main product and of course the main offender is flour.  Unless you are actively trying to cut out flour, you don’t realize just how much it is used in our every day lives.

Most of us were raised that we have a sandwich for lunch when we went to school unless you bought your lunch at school but I’m pretty sure that flour was used in those lunches.  One thing that I’ve never gotten past is having a sandwich for lunch which is usually eaten on the go as I am preparing to go to work because just in case you forgot, I work a late evening shift and only get off a little before midnight.

So yeah it is easy to understand that I need to cut wheat out of my diet, this is what Mark Sisson promotes as do other paleo diets and they encourage using other substitutes but they also stress to restrict the carbohydrates that you consume.  According to this one book I just read, you don’t have to count carbs, calories or anything like that, just cut out the wheat.  I will admit that they push is also to eat more organic or at least a healthier diet but mainly cut out the wheat.  I’ll be honest, I’m not made of money and so I have to be very careful when it comes to eating organic because it is downright expensive and to be perfectly honest, organic does not mean it is chemical free, they still use chemicals when growing organic.  So I try to stay organic on some things and others, well at least I’m eating better.

Let’s see, I’ve talked about cutting out the wheat, the next thing that is promoted is Tension.  Just in case you don’t remember, I used to jowalk (jowalk=jog until I ran out of breath, then walked until I caught my breath and then repeat) (I was doing HIIT before it became popular)  5 miles a day, six days a week which meant that I was an endorphin junkie.  Also I was about 30 years younger and not so overweight.  Sure I had put on some weight but it was only about 30 pounds which quickly came off and the pounds stayed off for a long time.

Back to the word Tension.  I plan on using tension to help shape my body.  I’m not talking about the type of tension/stress you can get from work or really, really annoying people; I’m talking about using your own body’s tension to help redefine my hidden muscles.  Oh they are down there underneath the flab I just need to work them and they will come back.  So how do I work them, well according to everyone, I need to get out and move, do quick dashes, lift weights and all sorts of things physical and I will get back my physique.  Well I’ve been trying to do it and all I got were strain muscles and end up hurting myself.  As I mentioned above, I’m planning on using my own body’s Tension to help build back up some of the strength that I once had.  So how am I planning on doing this, why with something super easy, called Isometrics.

Wait…. let me take that back.  Isometrics aren’t exactly easy if done right because you’re using your own body to rebuild your strength which is what I desperately need to do.  I didn’t realize it but when I was younger, I had a lot of strength although I wasn’t very muscular and could push and pull a lot more than other people though.  Now that I’ve let my muscles go to pot, it will be a long battle to get them back into shape.  I know that isometrics actually work because one of my uncles used to be very skinny and had absolutely no muscle tone but he started working out and doing isometric exercises and soon he had developed strength.

So using Tension I plan on redefining my muscle tone.  This person did not push vast amounts of cardio but there is one bit of cardio that I really enjoy doing and that is riding Serenity.  She is my recumbent tadpole tricycle, which is pedal power.  I’ve spent money buying her and now I’ve been slowly decking her out so I can take her out on the open road and that is what I plan on doing for cardio exercises and believe me when I say that I will be doing some lifting too because the trike has a base weight of at least 30 pounds and with all of the additives I’ve put on the trike the weight has increased too.  So I will have to lift it in and out of the vehicle I’m traveling in as well as ride.

The last part of the equation is to breathe.  I will need to breathe during my exercises but the real hard part will be to learn to breathe through the stress at work.  Yes there is a lot of stress at my work as I’m sure there is with your own job and so if I can practice breathing maybe I can keep myself from reacting poorly and saying anything that will not be beneficial.  He stresses to accept the negative and not to let it rule us, which is hard to do because I’m sort of a attack the problem head on type of person and have always been that way so this will as always be a work in progress.



Okay I know that I haven’t been keeping up very well in writing and I’ve no one to blame but myself because I get easily distracted.  Look over there…..ahhh, Shiny!   Yeah I get that easily distracted and now with that being said like the title suggests, I know for a fact that I lost the bet with myself and so I do not get the espresso machine that I wanted.

The only good thing about it is the fact that my wallet is happy about it because it means that I will not be spending the money on that because right now my wallet has taken some hard hits this summer.

Excuse #1:   For the last 3 years I’ve had my second vehicle just sitting in the driveway of my house.  In that time I have since learned, about 1 1/2 years ago, why my vehicle was acting up and odds were that it was due to a mistake made by the garage where the car was repaired.  Apparently an air bubble was in the transmission line so when the engine got up to running temperature, it would trap the bubble thus making me lose the use of the gears.  It would basically lock the gears into position and believe me, it is extremely hard to start a vehicle while in third gear.  Then the battery went dead and well my truck was still running and so I just kept on having that repaired.

This year my state is incorporating motor vehicle inspection with registration of my vehicle and so in order to register my car I had to have it inspected and there was no way out of it.  The only good thing was the fact that I wanted to get the car running, so when the tow truck came, we pushed the car out of the driveway and away drove the tow truck driver with my puddle jumper on the back of his truck.  I call my Escort a puddle jumper and there is a good reason why besides it being a name used for a ship on a favorite show of mine, Stargate Atlantis.  Trucks are rear wheel drive and because trucks are so light in the back, then tend to slip and skid when the tires are in water, but my Puddle Jumper has front wheel drive and because it is a manual transmission, it means that I can better control my take-offs and I don’t slip and slide around like in my truck.

So why am I telling you this, well it is because I just go socked with a +$1,000 repair bill for my Puddle Jumper which was good but not really, because I still had to get it inspected and registered.  So I don’t usually drive it as much because I like my truck and it is automatic transmission.  So I’m driving to work about a month ago, happy that I didn’t have to take out a loan from the bank to pay for my repair bill when another problem happened.  Some lady cut in front of my truck on the freeway as I was going 65 mph and then she hit her brakes, although there was no traffic problem, so I slammed on my brakes to avoid hitting her and my brakes locked up.  Do you know how hard it is to get over to the right side of a freeway (4 lanes) when everyone is doing 65 mph or better?  Damn hard is how hard it is.  So by the time I got off the freeway I was almost at the station that I scheduled to work at that evening so I drove into the parking lot of the station and the moment I took my foot off the gas the truck came to a halt.  Yes you could smell that the brakes were burnt up because they would not release.  My life officially sucked that day.  My brakes locking up is the same problem I have been trying to get my garage to fix for the last 18 months because it has been happening any time I had to do an emergency stop or a quick stop.

Now into the shop goes my truck and I’m very thankful that I had my Puddle Jumper ready to go, only I learned that they barely did things to get my Jumper running and now I have to go and do things such as put new sparks plugs in the vehicle and check out a few more minor things and then maybe the engine won’t conk out on me when I have the clutch in.

Excuse #2:   So my Baby Truck, which is what I call it since it is only a V6 engine, was in the shop for about a month.  I kept on hoping that they would not call me for a couple of more weeks but they called and said that the truck was ready to be picked up.  Now my wallet is crying because I had to pay $400 to get my truck out when I thought that the last time I paid to have work done on my brakes was the final fix….apparently not.

So yes I’ve been stressing about my financials big time because I didn’t even know if I would be able to make my yearly pilgrimage to Atlanta for DragonCon.  I tried riding my trike for some relief but that didn’t go too well.  I didn’t get off as early as I wanted and so I got maybe an hour of sleep before I had to get up and load up my brother’s truck so I could make my drive out towards West Texas for my next stage of my riding.

It was a hard ride and I later learned some of the reasons why I struggled with the ride.  It was at an elevation of 4,000 feet and I usually ride at 200 feet which meant that it was hard for me to breathe or even catch my breath.  Then my lack of sleep didn’t help anything either, because I could tell if the elevation or my lack of energy from lack of sleep had anything to do with the ride.  Last of all I was practically falling asleep all the way back on the drive home.  I had stopped a couple of times in cities for potty break and for drink break, heck I even did the tourist thing in Langtry, TX, home of Judge Roy Bean.  Hey they made a movie about it, look it up and enjoy it.

So I’m about 2 1/2 hours out from town and going 80 mph when the truck starts shaking, so I pull over figuring that I have a flat tire but I don’t hear or feel it on the truck.  I pull off the road and check out the tires but everything seems okay, so I get back on the freeway but the truck shakes again as I’m going 70 mph.  I finally find an exit and pull over into Junction, TX where I try to put gas in the machine but of course the card reader wasn’t working right at the machine so I had to go inside and pay and then I’m still trying to figure out what all of the shaking is coming from.

Long story short, I have to drive all of the back roads to get to my home town which normally would have been 2 1/2 hours of driving but instead it becomes almost a 4-5 hour drive as I have to take access roads and back roads and can’t travel above 45 mph.  I have now been up for 21 hours straight with only 1 1/2 hour of sleep the night (morning) I left for the ride in Marathon, TX.  Turns out that the tread was separating from the tire and I was lucky not have had a blow out.

So as you can see, me and vehicles are not going well together, besides I almost went broke putting gas in The Beast which is what my brother calls his Ram 2500 super duty truck.  Yes that means it drinks gas like it was going out of style and my wallet is almost $175 poorer because of the drinking problem The Beast has with gas.

Between my repair bills and gas bills I’m almost broke and still I’m trying to save for DragonCon because I refused to have a credit card.  I like not being in debt, it is a great feeling but sometimes….ouch!

About now you’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with me giving up and crying Uncle when it came to keeping the bet to lose 30 pounds before September 1st.  Well I’m sure that lots of you have the same problem and when the stress really hits, it just keeps you off-balance and no matter what I did, I got an upset stomach about every other day so nothing that I was eating tasted right and this summer I’ve been living on 4-5 hours of sleep a night.  No sleep, financial worries, stomach problems and just being frustrated got the best of me during my bet.

Now this doesn’t mean that I won’t try to get right back on the dieting…excuse me, get back into the better eating habits of times past and maybe something better will happen.  But for now I’m just now coming out of my worrisome slump and will use the few days I have less to investigate a few interesting recipes I’ve been looking at, only I don’t know when I’ll have the time to prepare them.  I know, I know….make time.  Well I’m just not that good of a baker or chef to make time.

All joking aside, I started off good but I find that I’m easily distracted.  I’m hoping that once I get back from DragonCon I will be able to start sleeping and eating better and maybe I can start seeing some results.  Oh I’ll get my espresso machine just not for some time.

I lost the bet with myself but I’m not giving up, I have a more fit person inside of me who is trying to get out.  Apparently she is not ready to make her appearance just yet, but soon I hope.  Hell I just need to win the Power Ball or Lottery big time so I can not stress out about my finances.

March Madness

No I’m not talking about basketball or brackets, sorry to get your hopes up but I just don’t understand that very well, I mean the brackets and not really interested in them…sorry for those who are into that stuff.  Instead I’m talking about my own March madness.

I have just erased what came out to 2 1/2 pages of wild ranting, mostly about my brothers and their lack of confidence in me.  Wow, I guess that just sums it all up, they don’t have confidence in me.  One of them was trying to lecture me about dieting and tell me some of the pitfalls of being overweight and then he dared to ask me the question, “Well have you ever tried dieting?”

Wow, it is hard when I diet because I let my mother know so that she will know when I’m there that I can’t eat certain foods and so she won’t grocery shop for me when I take her grocery shopping.  Any way, she always tells my brothers all of my business so she is a gossip mouse.  So that is why I got upset about my brother asking me if I’ve ever tried dieting.

Well since having dropped my mother off at my brother’s house so she and my sister-in-law could travel out of country, that was when my brother asked me about dieting, which just happened to have been the first weekend in March.  Thus starting out my March madness which is actually just frustration at my brother for his comment.

So now that I haven’t had to worry about taking care of my mother I’ve been able to actually regulate what and how I’ve been eating.  I’ve learned a few things about myself which is that I’m hooked on cappuccinos which I know is not the best thing to be hooked on but I only drink 2 a day at the maximum.

The week was going fine when suddenly while driving home from the bad side of town my truck breaks down, only it was very dangerous where it broke down so I managed to coax it along to stop about a mile away in a little bit safer area.  So now a week later I get a call from the garage saying my truck is ready and I almost passed out at the +$600 repair bill, but I guess it is better than a new car payment every week for the next 4-5 years.

So another brother lets me borrow his truck and mentions I might want to remove the messed up window tinting.  Well that is what I’ve been doing for the last few days and my fingers are slightly number from holding the razor blade at the correct angle to remove the glue still stuck on the windows once the tint was removed.  I only have the back window to go.  But, I managed to control my actions and besides removing the window tinting for the last few days, I’ve been careful about what I eat.


So now here is some good news.  I was relatively primal eating last week and I lost 4 .6 pounds.  Now unfortunately it is not still that way, I lost a touch more the next day but gained a couple of pounds in the last couple of days.  Some of the stress is coming back to bite me.  Plus I’ve been hungry and ate late at night although in general I’ve been eating primal.

Despite the stress with the truck, replaying my brother’s insulting questioning about my weight and dieting and trying to get other things done around the house; I’m now actually feeling pretty good about myself.  Yeah I have a big repair bill to pay tomorrow but I will have my truck back.  Yes I haven’t been eating completely primal, but I’m losing some weight, not as much as I would like but I know why it has not been melting off of me.  Oh yeah and I’m feeling good because I broke down and spent $$$ bucks on a coffee grinder to try and improve my espresso pulls on my cheap machine, then I find out something else I can do to improve it even better so I can enjoy the taste of my new coffee beans.  (Hey I have to look for the little rainbows for now.)

So as I finish up work tonight, I will go home and clean up my mess I left before rushing off to work and rig up my espresso machine for a good pull in the morning before I go pick up my truck.  I’ll catch the bus so then I will get just over 3/4 of a mile walk in early and hopefully it won’t rain on me as I walk to the garage to pick up my baby truck.

One last note is that I did something this last weekend that I think made a world of difference in my losing weight.  I went on a trike ride, but not an ordinary usual trike ride.  I’m making myself go to different places and to ride and push myself a little bit harder to get out and be in the world.  Okay so why is this last weekend’s ride so great, well I rode 65 miles on my trike.  If you remember I have a tricycle, pedal power and not horse power.  I took on some monster hills and climbed them on my trike and didn’t let them defeat me.

Yeah it took me longer to ride the 65 miles than I expected, it took me about 8 hours but the majority of those miles were uphill, yeah I got to ride down the hills but going up those hills were hard.  Yet despite it being a hard ride and by the time I finished the sun was down and my trike lights were fading as they ran out of power but as I rode up the last hill to where I had left my truck parked, I felt hungry and excited that I had managed to ride so far.  I also felt chilled because I didn’t bring my jacket, see I hadn’t planned on riding that far so it was great because I didn’t have to worry about anyone or anything (with the exception of traffic) while on my ride and so far that is the best trike ride I’ve ever had.

So I’ve slipped a little this week already but now I think I’ve released my frustration (erased pages of ranting) and I’m looking forward to the coming weekend and maybe I can get a trike ride in and if not there is always the next weekend.  I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow to replenish my primal pantry and continue eating primal.

Thanks for being patient with me and I’m back to eating good and maybe this time I will have a bit more success than earlier this year.  Hope you day is going okay.